So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
