what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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