the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
