OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Mom said you looked used
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
