I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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