summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
