I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
