I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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