i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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