I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
