and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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