Yo dont text me then not text me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
