from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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