Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
