she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
