I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
