i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
