I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Boobs are out for the taking
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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