it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
