dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
