So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
