I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
