I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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