I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
