return my video game
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize