imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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