Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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