He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I need a beard to bite.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
