im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize