dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
