Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
