A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize