I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
