I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
