her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
