Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It all started with a game of naked twister.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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