The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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