Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
