why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
