I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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