Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
