Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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