We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
