apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize