I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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