My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
