did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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