There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
