Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
