My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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