We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
