I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
