Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
be right there i have to get my cape
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
