Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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