dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
