I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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