He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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