The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
